Joanne: Surviving and finding a happy balance

Say hello to Joanne, our last featured wildflower! Joanne is a mother of five with a sweet spot for bike touring as it challenges her to push herself and see places she’s never been to. Diagnosed with an illness before the nationwide lockdown, she used this time to heal and focus on herself more. In spite of the trials she’s faced, Joanne found cycling as her happy balance in order to forget, even for a moment, that she has cancer.

Find out about Joanne’s adventures to see how cycling helps her cope with her sickness by reading the full story below.

Note: Interview contains a combination of English and Tagalog words. The full English transcript of each content block is in gray.

If you are currently undergoing medication or have any illness, please consult your doctor before undergoing any strenuous activities.

LOCKDOWN AT HOME

I’m a 42 year old, full-time mom and a mother of five kids—apat na babae at isang lalaki. Yung unang tatlo ay 23, 22 at 19. Yung susunod ay lalaki na 14 tapos tapos yung youngest ko 9 years old. 

Syempre nung una, nahirapan ako kasi syempre nag-iba yung everyday routine ko dahil sa pandemic. Sabi ko nga mas ok na rin kasi more time para sa sarili ko at mas hindi na busy. Mas madaling i-manage yung kids at hindi na ako nag-woworry dahil nandito lang sila sa bahay. Dati kasi, hatid-sundo ko sila at minsan paiba-iba yung schedule at pinupuntahan.

Before nung lockdown, parang nasisingit ko lang yun cycling base doon sa schedule ko. Pabor sa akin kung 7am ang start ng ride kasi makakapaghatid muna ako ng kids. Pero, kung hindi willing mag-adjust mga kasama ko, di talaga ako makakasama at weekend lang talaga or night ride ang nagagawa ko.

I’m a 42-year-old, full-time mom and a mother of five kids–four girls and one boy. The first three are aged 23, 22 and 19. My 14-year-old boy comes next, followed by the youngest at 9 years old. 

Of course, during the start of the pandemic things were hard, as my everyday routine changed. But then, it turned out to be okay because I had more time for myself and I wasn’t as busy. It was easier for me to manage the kids and not worry too much about them as they were all here at home. Back then, I would have to pick them up, drop them off, and work with all their different schedules.

Before the lockdown, I would have to squeeze my rides in and around my schedule. It favored me if the ride started at 7am, as I could join after dropping off my kids at school. If that wasn’t the case, and no one was willing to adjust, then I would only be able to ride on weekends or do night rides.

CANCER DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT

Actually, matagal ko nang napansin yung bukol, siguro may tatlong taon na. Hindi ko naman naisipan ng kung ano, kaya hindi ko muna pina-check at tuluyang napabayaan sya. Finally, nagpatingin na ako nitong pandemic. Tapos ayun, stage 4 breast cancer na pala. Nakakatakot nga eh kasi malapit sa lungs pero buti wala naman silang nakita sa major organs ko. Nandun lang sa lymph nodes at sa breast ko.

Actually, I kinda felt a lump about three years ago but didn’t pay much attention to it. Finally, I had a check-up during the pandemic and found out that I had stage 4 breast cancer. I was really scared because it was near the lungs. Luckily they didn’t see anything in my major organs and it was just in my lymph nodes and breast. 

But then my last treatment turned out to be a bust. It seemed like nothing was working after doing chemotherapy and hormonal therapy for a few months. The tumor came back, and grew to its original size. It quickly grew when I took a short break from medicines and chemo. All that progress gained throughout those months, all of it went down the drain.

CYCLING AS THERAPY

Ang hirap talaga ang may sakit lalo na kung outgoing kang tao na kasing tulad ko—hindi ako pwedeng nakahiga lang o nakatambay sa bahay lang. Pero yung cancer ko kasi nag-metastasize na sa bones ko. Nung una, di muna ako pinapayagan mag-strenuous activities ng oncologist ko. Sabi ko naman na nagiingat naman ako at maingat din ang mga kasama ko. Kaso, nung isang beses nahuli nya ako na nagbibike! Sa puno’t dulo ng usapan namin, hiniling ko na lang na pabigyan nalang niya ako kasi isa ito sa mga nagpapasaya sa akin. Feeling ko wala akong sakit at lahat kakayanin ko basta makabike.

Pati sa bahay, sinasabi ko sa kanila na pabayaan nalang nila ako kapag magbibike. Nakakatuwa kasi inaalagaan din ako ng mga anak ko at sinasabi nila sa akin na huwag kalimutan yung arm sleeves at sunblock ko. Tinatanong pa nila kung sino kasama ko, paano ako pupunta doon, o kung kailangan kong magpasundo. Happy ako kasi naging strong yung bonding namin sa isa’t-isa.

Kaya grateful pa rin ako kahit paano kasi maraming mabuting naidulot sa akin nitong pandemic na ito. Nagkaroon ako ng oras para mag-focus sa sarili ko. Dati, tutok ako sa pag-aalaga ng mga anak ko. Ngayon, sila naman yung nag-aalaga sa akin. At kahit ibang pananaw lang ito, nagbigay pa rin ito ng kasiyahan na hindi ko mararanasan kung hindi tayo dumaan sa ganitong sitwasyon.

It’s really hard to be sick especially for someone as outgoing as me—I can’t just lay around or stay at home. However, my cancer ended up metastasizing in my bones. At first, my oncologist didn’t allow me to do any strenuous activities. I tried to reassure her that I would be careful and that I had companions that would watch over me. Then, it got to the point that my oncologist caught me in the middle of a bike ride! At the end of it all, I just had to ask her to allow me to bike because this was one of the things that made me happy. It just makes me feel like I’m not sick and that I could do anything just as long as I biked.

Though this illness is the biggest challenge in my life right now, I’m still happy cause I now get to ride. I call this a “happy balance.” Cycling became my outlet. I didn’t feel like I was sick — or I was different. I was still me, and I was still able to enjoy the things I wanted to do.

Even at home, I asked everyone to allow me to enjoy my bike rides. It’s heartwarming because my kids also take care of me by telling me not to forget my arm sleeves or my sunblock. They ask me who I’ll be with, how we’re going there, and if I’ll need to get picked up. I’m happy because it made our bond stronger.

That’s why I’m still grateful, despite everything, because this pandemic has still given me some good things. I was given a lot of time to focus on myself. Before, I had to worry about taking care of my kids—but now, they take care of me. Some of it may be just a matter of perspective, but it has given me joy nonetheless. It's something I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to experience if not for the situation we’re now all in.

MEMORABLE PANDEMIC RIDES

Nagsimula lang ako magbike nung August 2019. Siguro dahil dito, dahil medyo bago pa lang yun experience, ay lahat ng rides kinokonsidera kong memorable sa akin. Pero kung tatanungin mo sa akin kung ano talaga yun pinaka memorable at favorite sa lahat, yan na siguro yung bikepacking trip namin to Nasugbu, Batangas. Relax lang siya na walang hinahabol na numbers katulad ng elevation, distance, o oras. Na-enjoy ko yung view kung saan kami nagpunta. Dinaanan namin lahat ng simbahan at nagkaroon ng oras para mag-pray at mag-wish. Tapos binili namin sa daan yung mga kakaiinin namin at nilagay lang sa mga bag sa bike. Sobrang memorable yun kahit mahirap yung pauwi dahil sa malakas na hangin.

Meron din kaming nagawa na Camino de Santiago na virtual challenge. Kailangan ka magbike ng 772kms total at ikaw ang magset kung gaano ka tagal mong gustong tapusin yun. I think one month namin yon ginawa. This year, maghahanap kami ng bagong challenge na parang ganyan. 

Hindi ako mabilis at nagpapahinga talaga ako kapag sobrang mahirap at hindi kinaya. Pero kahit nasa likod parati or madalas nagpahinga, itutuloy ko lang hanggang sa kakayanin. Susulitin ko talaga.

I started biking in August of 2019. I don’t know if you can attribute it to being a new experience and all, but I really consider all my rides to be memorable. But if you made me pick my favorite from the bunch, then that would have to be the bikepacking trip to Nasugbu, Batangas. It was a relaxed ride where we didn't have to chase numbers like elevation, distance, or time. I enjoyed the view wherever we went. We stopped at all the churches and found time to pray and make wishes. We also bought all our food on the road and stored them in the bags on our bikes. It was very memorable even if the ride home was hard due to the strong winds. 

We also did a Camino de Santiago virtual challenge. We had to bike a total of 772kms and we set how long we wanted to finish it. I think we did it in a month. This year, we’re going to look for a challenge that’s similar to that.

I’m not the fastest and I’ll really stop to rest if I find it too hard to press on. But even if I’m always at the back of the pack and stop quite often, I’m gonna keep on going for as long and as far as I can. I need to make the most out of it.

If you are currently undergoing medication or have any illness, please consult your doctor before undergoing any strenuous activities.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity

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